Another blog again here… I feel so moody now and I don’t know who should I go to??? Can I take half day leave as I really don’t wish to work now but can’t… If not, I will not having enough money to pay for my school fee… I know I shouldn’t put all my thinking to myself and making myself so irritating… Maybe everyone out there will think I am irritating and silly but I think I having a mild depression now… I like this guy also don’t have to gut to say as I scare to lose so keep to myself and I thinking not to tell him but don’t know whether is it worth I doing this… Will I regret??? Should I tell him…? What if I come back to this office to work again and how am I going to face him after I tell him… Will he hide away from me and wouldn’t want to be my friend… Have a crush for someone is so torturing for me as I never ever try before express my feeling towards a guy… If I really do so, this will be my first time and my last time to express to a guy…

Should I go see a doctor or should I take a long rest… I don’t like to be a failure and that’s why I don’t dare to express out… I know I can’t be with him so I won’t say out… But all my friends keep asking me to express my feelings towards him… Can I do so...? The answer is a “NO” which I long time knows it… No mood now and make me no mood to work and I wish to talk to someone now but who can I talk to and whose shoulder wants to lend me… Now I do talk to a guy from my office but he seen like getting misunderstanding from my words… All my girlfriends have their partner to lean to but me I only have wall to lean against… This whole year is not my year but why do gods make me meet Gabriel this year and can progress to a higher level which I want to have…

Oh yah today is my brother’s birthday… Happy 13^th year old birthday my baby brother… Stop thinking of the above matter… Wait for the time to arrive and I will know the result of this matter… Hope this will brighter my life for the next year…

~HiRoKo~

Today is Gabriel’s birthday… Happy birthday Gabriel!!!!! Hope your wishes you just wish will come true… But is an unhappy moment for him too… His friend’s girlfriend had just passed away… She accidentally knocks against the door and after awhile feel giddy and want to vomit and the next moment is that she fainted and that goes her life… Life is so precious and don’t regret anything which you never do it before… I have a problem which I wish to settle it but just don’t know how to say it out without any regret…

Know that if you like someone, you got to say it out but I just can’t… He is someone which I slowly fall in love with but think that he won’t want to have a girlfriend like me… Did try to give him a hint but I feel that he don’t get what I want to say… Maybe this is my fate for knowing him here and get to be his friend is already enough and knowing him is fine I am happy enough… Get to see him, is a happy moment too… Hope he did notice that someone out there is waiting for him… Why I always fall in love with guys who are stone and don’t know how to express himself one… Hope if really this relationship start will be my FINAL relationship… Hasn’t even start, I already thinking of this is my FINAL relationship… Feel so thick skinned of me… All my friends and even my mum also ask me to go express myself to him but I just don’t dare as I am those type of girls which I never ever woo the guys I like… I just like to hide my feeling for the one I like and wish him all the best and get a girl he wish to be with…

Now talk about my previous boyfriend, he is an idiot… He tells me that he like a girl but don’t know how to express himself but before he express, he knows that this girl has a boyfriend and is smoking type which I totally don’t agree with what he doing… All my friends know that he calls me is to tell me he wanted to woo this girl and they are so angry with… Actually I am fine with it but the sad part is he asks me what type of sandals I wearing on that particular day which I went out with him and friend to watch a movie so I told him where I bought it and where can find it… So I ask him why he want to know and who he buying for and he told me that he buying for the girl he like… I was so sad at that moment but I didn’t show to Marni and Gary on that day… But me and him, we are totally over and will be friend for our rest of our life… Hope he can find someone better than me and not someone can ruin his life… Hope I will get someone better than him and make me feel I’m so happy to have him with me especially this someone now I know…

Got to stop now and get back to my work now…

~HiRoKo~

Woo, so long didn’t blog so here is a new blog… Had been single for 2 months, but had been in confused by him…. Actually last Saturday, I went out with Sandy to collect our Diploma Certificate and after we collected, we went to Expo for the Robinson Sales to buy some stuff. I did bought some stuff… But Sandy did bought a lot of stuffs… After that, we went to Orchard for a movie with Marni and Xiao Hei… After we broke up, this is the first outing we went out. He did keep asking me out but I always not that free so can’t accompany him… But this time we did meet up… We two reach orchard around 4.00 plus so we went to the bank first to bank in money and after that, we walk to Cinerleisure to buy the tickets first while waiting for them… After we bought it, we walk around in the shopping mall… After walking and the time reach 5.00pm, I told Sandy come let’s wait outside… When we reach outside, Xiao Hei called and guesses what… I saw him standing outside the mall and I was just in front of him… Is like I got that feeling, he was out there waiting for us… My six senses told me so…. I walk towards him, he asks me how I know he reach here and why I came out… So I told him, I came out to wait for my friend and not him… Then while we waiting for Marni, he wanted to fold up his sleeves so I help him so… But I find that we both are like nothing had happen before and we are just like back as normal… Why I say so is because we will argue over small things and what he like and dislike I still know… Sandy and Marni also find it weird… Whenever we walk around, he will just stand behind of me like last time… When all of us reach, we went to Burger King for our dinner and he asks me to help him to buy the foods again like we always do it… After that, we went to watch our movie, House Bunny at 6.30pm… When we walk in, I was in between Sandy and Marni and Xiao Hei is behind Sandy… So Sandy actually gives me a look of wanted to change seat with me but she didn’t… Xiao Hei in cinema that moment is like hinting me to sit beside him… I also don’t know is my thinking is right… The girls can sense it too that Xiao Hei is trying to tell me something… So I take the first step to message him whether does he has anything wanted to tell me but he doesn’t reply me at all and I actually keep thinking of what he actually want to tell me… How I wish I know it…

Yesterday I went to eat the Seafood at Turf City with Marni, Alex, Gabriel and Nicolas… We five of them spend $159.10 on the Foods we order… Is so delicious… Anyone can go have a try at the Unique Seafood Mart and Owen Restaurant… Weekdays will have 50% discount and weekends will have 30% discount on the SEAFOOD itself only… We have a lot of fun at there… We order Oyster, Seabass, Tiger Prawns, Lala, Crabs and fried rice etc…… But the Oyster which we order only me, Nicolas and Gabriel eat it but the two guys only eat one of it and the rest of it is eaten by me as the Oyster had a funky taste of it… Because is from Canada but I still prefer from Australia… Never mind, I still got the chance to eat my favourite Oyster is good for enough…. We will be going to eat buffet the next time round… But when we will be eating, is a very big question mark… As we still not sure yet…. Yummy… Got to go back and work so end of my blog…

~HiRoKo~